Final College Essay: 9/25/11

College Essay

Zachary Chock

Period 2

9/25/11

Topic

University of Pugent sound -
C. Explain how your experiences as a teenager significantly differ from those of your friends.  Include comparisons.

            During the beginning of Middle School and my development as a teenager, I was always trying to be different from those around me.  It was my maturity that made me different.  Learning from a certain event, I had decided to stop playing around and be serious to myself and others.  Many teens of my age wanted to just live out their lives and do as much fun as they could.  Looking at that, I wanted to be unique, different, and be able to stand out from others that I knew who acted in a way I found to be "disturbing and inappropriate".  When I looked at my peers and how they acted out against each other, I contrasted them and I and told myself I wouldn't become anything like them.  It was for that reason from there on in Intermediate school that many people thought I was weird, and shy, but I was the only one who thought it was okay and acceptable.  For that, I felt stuck in my own little world.

            While I was growing and maturing, I strayed away from the mainstream group.  I was the odd one out, along with others who were like me and acted similar to how I would be.  The “Mainstream” group, was more of a stereotypical prepubescent reckless and immature group, being what I would describe as “delinquents” as I grew in Middle School.  The students would not listen to the teacher, despite age of approximately 12 – 14, still pass notes, try to text, but to no avail as the teacher would always select the most obvious texting students like a eagle plucking it’s prey.  When noticed, others would ask me why I never talked too much, or participated in little “prank excursions” with everyone else, who followed and pulled stunts and destructive or distracting obstructions on others or uninformed people.  It felt like bandwagon propaganda, in which everyone said, “Hop on!  Be with us!” their temptations were strong, but seeing them get in trouble and make fools of themselves was enough to put me off.

            With realization and self discovery, I lost pieces of my immaturity and strange behavior, and noticed that instead of the other students maturing and reaching levels of higher cognitive thinking with age, they simply grew more immature, setting examples of things I never wanted to become.  The teacher and counselor noticed me as one of the very rarely seen students who obeyed almost everything asked of them, behaved better than most of the students, and did not get any referrals.  I was labeled as a “goody two shoes” by my peers, and left out of their cliques, just confined to the library with the “others” that were silent, or did not have very social experiences and lives.  I found it easy to make friends with those like me and it was okay, but we were all looked at as 'nerds, and bookie tweakers' by the teens who came into the library just to make fun of us, and who were just there to  cause trouble instead of studying.

            To everyone else, I was called the outcast, one of those who were ostracized from school, society, and kept out of the groups and social circles.  I was always there to act like a policeman, governing and watching out for the kids who were teased, and others criticized my actions as I told on and reported on many people for marking walls or stealing equipment, and that was looked down upon as a bad thing.  The students would take their anger out on me, and I was possibly one of the most hated middle school students at the time.  My ‘officer’ behavior caught the attention of many, even adults, and they told me to calm down or to let them handle it.  I disobeyed that, and as I kept telling, I kept making more enemies.  Despite this, I chose not to become immature and act stupid, but stick to how I had always decided to be.

            Eventually, I became more social, and began to shed my shell that kept me from being so shy and reclusive.  I also found I was impaired by a high functioning form of Autism, called Aspergers, and it was because of that, I found it very difficult to be open and social, or make friends, and also caused me to use a lot of complicated words, which everyone found awkward.  I tried hard by the 8^th grade to be more like the students, albeit unlike them, not joining in their activities, just adopting their speech style and talk.  The more I dropped the ‘turtle’ act and 'dropped the shell', the more easier it was to adapt to the student body and create friends out of enemies.  They noticed my change, and they began to accept my viewpoint and diffrences, and treat me less harshly as they realized how immature they had acted and imposed upon others.  Then, others began to act mature, and asked me for help, looking at their mistakes and regretting how they had treated others.  

            Then, I entered High School, which was definitely a whole new world for me.  The students were more mature, had increased seriousness, and stopped acting like they were nine or ten.  I found it easy to blend in, but the only difference was in clothing, talking, and thinking.  I found "common" speech different and weird, whereas I would use "Attire", the others would use "Swag", or as I say "Beckon", they would say "Yo Neff!".  Many of the other students found it weird that I do not dress in "Swagg" as I found it to be thuggish and ugly, where others found my "blank shirts and blank pants", clothing without designs qualified to be "Swagg", weird and untasteful.  Others liked my persona of being nice and offering to help, which made me really good friends with Chad and others like him.  Many of the students were like the others I faced in Elementary and Middle school, except more mature and able to handle situations or understand a person's viewpoint without making fun or leaving someone out.  As the school year swept by in the freshman year, I got adjusted and absorbed a few points of the average high school student.  In the beginning, I was silent as I had always been, but now, I had improved on speech and social skills, and stopped hanging by myself, and would hang out with a group of friends, just like others would do.

Revised college essay

College Essay

Zachary Chock

Period 2

9/9/11

Topic

University of Pugent sound -
C. Explain how your experiences as a teenager significantly differ from those of your friends.  Include comparisons.

            During the beginning of Middle School and my development as a teenager, I was always trying to be different from those around me.  It was my maturity that made me different.  Learning from a certain event, I had decided to stop playing around and be serious to myself and others.  Many teens of my age wanted to just live out their lives and do as much fun as they could.  Looking at that, I wanted to be unique, different, and be able to stand out from others that I knew who acted in a way I found to be "disturbing and inappropriate.  When I looked at my peers and how they acted out against each other, I contrasted them and I and told myself I wouldn't become anything like them.  It was for that reason from there on in Intermediate school that many people thought I was weird, and shy, but I was the only one who thought it was okay and acceptable.

            While I was growing and maturing, I strayed away from the mainstream group.  I was the odd one out, along with others who were like me and acted similar to how I would be.  The “Mainstream” group, was more of a stereotypical prepubescent reckless and immature group, being what I would describe as “delinquents” as I grew in Middle School.  The students would not listen to the teacher, despite age of approximately 12 – 14, still pass notes, try to text, but to no avail as the teacher would always select the most obvious texting students like a eagle plucking it’s prey.  When noticed, others would ask me why I never talked too much, or went on little “prank excursions” like everyone else.  It was bandwagon propaganda, in which everyone said, “Hop on!  Be with us!” but I declined. 

            As I became older and lost pieces of my immaturity and strange behavior, I noticed that instead of the other students maturing and reaching levels of higher cognitive thinking with age, they simply grew more immature, setting examples of things I never wanted to become.  The teacher and counselor noticed me as one of the very rarely seen students who obeyed almost everything asked of them, behaved better than most of the students, and did not get any referrals.  I was labeled as a “goody two shoes” by my peers, and left out of their cliques, just confined to the library with the “others” that were silent, or did not have very social experiences and lives.  I found it easy to make friends with those like me and it was okay, but we were all looked at as 'nerds, and tweakers' by the passerby students in the library, just there to have fun or cause trouble.

            To everyone else, I was called the outcast, one of those who were ostracized from school, society, and kept out of the groups and social circles.  I was always there to act like a policeman, governing and watching out for the kids who were teased, and others criticized my actions as I told on and reported on many people for marking walls or stealing equipment, and that was looked down upon as a bad thing.  The students would take their anger out on me, and I was possibly one of the most hated middle school students at the time.  My ‘officer’ behavior caught the attention of many, even adults, and they told me to calm down or to let them handle it.  I disobeyed that, and as I kept telling, I kept making more enemies.  Despite this, I chose not to become immature and act stupid, but stick to how I had always decided to be.

            Eventually, I became more social, and began to shed my shell that kept me from being so shy and reclusive.  I also found I was impaired by a high functioning form of Autism, called Aspergers, and it was because of that, I found it very difficult to be open and social, or make friends.  I also used a lot of complicated words, which everyone found awkward.  I tried hard by the 8^th grade to be more like the students, albeit unlike them, not joining in their activities, just adopting their speech style and talk.  The more I dropped my ‘turtle’ act and 'dropped the shell', the more easier it was to adapt to the student body and create friends out of enemies.  They noticed the change, and they began to accept me, and treat me less harsh as they realized how immature they had acted and imposed upon others.  Then, others began to act mature, and asked me for help, looking at their mistakes and regretting how they had treated others.  

College Essay draft 9/11/11

College Essay

Zachary Chock

Period 2

9/9/11

Topic

University of Pugent sound -
C. Explain how your experiences as a teenager significantly differ from those of your friends.  Include comparisons.

            During the beginning of Middle School and my development as a teenager, I was always trying to be different from those around me.  I wanted to be unique, different, and stand out from others that I knew.  When I saw my peers and how they acted out against each other, I didn’t want to be like them.  Many people thought I was weird, and shy, but I was the only one who thought it was okay and acceptable.

            While I was growing and maturing, I strayed away from the mainstream group.  I was the odd one out, along with others who were like me and acted similar to how I would be.  The “Mainstream” group, was more of a reckless and immature group, being what I would describe as “delinquents” as I grew in Middle School.  The students would not listen to the teacher, despite age of approximately 12 – 14, still pass notes, try to text, but to no avail as the teacher would always select the most obvious texting students like a eagle plucking it’s prey.  When noticed, others would ask me why I never talked too much, or went on little “prank excursions” like everyone else.  It was bandwagon propaganda, in which everyone said, “Hop on!  Be with us!” but I declined. 

            As I became older and lost pieces of my immaturity and strange behavior, I noticed that instead of the other students maturing and reaching levels of higher cognitive thinking with age, they simply grew more immature, setting examples of things I never wanted to become.  The teacher and counselor noticed me as one of the very rarely seen students who obeyed almost everything asked of them, behaved better than most of the students, and did not get any referrals.  I was labeled as a “goody two shoes” by my peers, and left out of their cliques, just confined to the library with the “others” that were silent, or did not have very social experiences and lives.

            To everyone else, I was an outcast, someone who was ostracized from school society, and looked down upon.  I was always there to act governing, as I told on and reported on many people for marking walls or stealing equipment, and that was looked down upon as a bad thing.  The students would take their anger out on me, and I was possibly one of the most hated middle school students at the time.  My ‘officer’ behavior caught the attention of many, even adults, and they told me to calm down or to let them handle it.  I disobeyed that, and as I kept telling, I kept making more enemies.

            Eventually, I became more social, and began to shed my shell that kept me from being so shy and reclusive.  I also found I was impaired by a high functioning form of Autism, called Aspergers, and it was because of that, I found it very difficult to be open and social, or make friends.  I also used a lot of complicated words, which everyone found awkward.  I tried hard by the 8^th grade to be more like the students, albeit unlike them, not joining in their activities, just adopting their speech style and talk.  The more I dropped my ‘shy turtle’ act, the more easier it was to adapt to the student body and create friends out of enemies.  They noticed the change, and they began to accept me, and treat me less harsh as they realized how immature they had acted and imposed upon others.

Essay topic

The topic I picked for my essay is  -
University of Pugent sound -
C. Explain how your experiences as a teenager significantly differ from those of your friends.  Include comparisons.

Here are the colleges I am looking into.
http://www.coe.hawaii.edu/
http://www.usc.edu/

Quick Poster Draft

Coming of Age ( Revised )

     Coming of Age

     Zachary Chock

    Period 2

 


            It was Seven AM. in the morning, and I was just watching YouTube on the computer.  It was a three-day weekend, so I could care less than nothing about the final project due around the corner on Tuesday.  Being only 10 at the time, I was not mature yet, and was still carefree and reckless.  I did not care or even think about my time being used on playing games, or watching television, when I could be studying, or working hard to accomplish major grades and achievements.  At school, I was lonely, and kept to myself.  I was only interested in space, and I isolated myself from friends, teachers, and used speech and words that were high for my understanding.  Others tried to help me as I kept getting horrible grades, and I also got very angry at my parents, even though I followed all of their advice to not make bad decisions such as giving into violence, drinking or trying any drug.  My parents were kind, loving, and cared greatly about me, skipping some events, or doing things to spend time with me.  My Dad was strong, had a silent personality, and taught me how to stand up to others and be tough, but he never got angry at us, unless it was from grades.  However, Mom was different, never mad, always kind, taught us in the ways of God, which was probably why she was so docile.  In any case, even as kind as they were to me, I turned down all of their attempts to get me an after - school program or a Tutorial supervisor that would study with me and teach me in the subjects that I was dropping in.  I never did any of that or wanted to, but when it came to school and discipline, I was a problem child.  I still got angry, acted out against them, and caused a lot of anger among my superiors.
            There was a project due, and I was simply searching for funny internet videos and information to read.  My parents woke, however, when I played an Alternative Rock song too loud on the speakers.  My Father came into my room, tired and sleepy with rings under his eyes, and he looked annoyed.  “Son, what are you doing?  Don’t you have a project due this weekend?”  I just looked at the computer screen, having switched to a video of someone playing Halo 3.  “HEY!” Dad really was trying to get my attention.  “Do you want to rush again, getting C’s and ‘Meet’ grades?  Your Mom and I are trying to help you!” he stated.  I finally paid attention and spoke to my father.  “Yeah, I care.  But I have all of the time since the weekend is three days, so I can do it on Monday” I stared blankly after I said that.  He scoffed, and my Mother came in, woken from the rock music..  “Hi Mom” I said, sounding more as if I was just repeating it like it was routine.  “Zach” She replied slowly.  “You know we care about you and are trying to help you as much as we can, so please, can you just listen to us?  We’re trying to help you get A’s – aren’t you sacred about your grade?  It’s on the borderline of a D and C.”  Eventually, I looked at both of them, and I stood, just staring at them.  “Fine.  Whatever”  I didn’t care.  I just wanted to have fun.  I wasted time purposely just messing with the materials needed to build the project, since I didn't want to do it anyway.  They left me, trusting that I would complete my mission.  However, during the three hours I spent unfocused, I was constantly reminded that Monday was speeding towards me, and very fast.
            I got to ‘work’, trying to do the first part of my poster board, to type up the summary on what had happened to the Hawaiian Monarchy.  It had been assigned by the teacher a while ago, and I had gotten but nowhere.  The Keyboard made clacks and clicked, each key springing back as I typed with anger.  I didn’t feel like spending precious time doing something I was required, but to do something that made me happy and careless, like spending countless hours video-gaming, or to vegetate on the couch, watching a funny cartoon until I had fallen asleep by the next morning.  There seemed to be so much to do, it looked overwhelming and seemed to grow when I looked back at the criteria, and appeared that it would take up to Tuesday to complete, but I didn’t want to even try.  Since my parents were gone, I opened up the web browser, and I searched a video related to Halo.  As I watched the video play on the screen, I forgot about the homework and the time wasted away by not working on the project.  The shadows of the trees and the computer arched as eight hours passed me by, leaving me forever.  Those were eight hours I could have finished my project in, but I didn't care anymore.  I never kept track of time, and because of all the gunshot noises made by the game, I was too consumed to notice that my parents’ work had ended, and they had come home and were already inside the house.  My Mom had been standing behind me for a few moments.  She tapped my shoulder, and I turned.  I felt frozen, the cold chill of my blood causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand erect.  “Hi mom” my voice whittled to a whisper.  She didn’t say anything, but kept a tired, cold expression as she opened my word document to see my project progress.  “Son, you didn’t even make it past the second paragraph” she said.  I could feel the disappointment in her whisper of a voice.  “Do you still care?” she turned to look at me.  I felt her brown eyes stabbing into my heart like daggers, the dark hole in her eyes were empty, and I saw the sadness and irritation pooling in her emotionless eyes.  I felt scared, so I could only nod.  She began to leave, and finally turned as she left me to drown in my guilt.  “If you don’t care, that’s fine – Your father and I try to help you so much, and you turn it down with no effort” she looked sad.  I actually felt guilty and cared then, out of all the times that I spent deflecting their glares and anger.  “You can fail if you want to do so” Her upbeat happy personality replaced by an sad, empty shell of what she always was.  She left me alone with the video continuing to play.  I didn’t even notice it was on – I had been to focused by what my Mom had said, that I had begun to change.
            Eventually, the final day came, and even after my confrontation with Mom in the bedroom about my progress, I had acted like I cared, and when my Dad asked of the same, I could only feel the guilt and shame wrenching my insides.  The noise the clock made was threatening.

Tick…

Tick…

Tick…

Time seemed to pass by more than twice as fast – I glared at the clock with swollen, red eyes.

It read 9:00 PM.

I realized that only three hours remained until the dreadful day of reckoning had consumed me and my project.  I began a frantic haste, rushing and making mistakes, spilling glue as I frantically tried to paste the images onto the board.  I hadn’t even gotten halfway to the finishing touch and now it was too late as the clock struck 10:00. PM.  I was tired, and I was now up to my neck in regret of not heeding my parent’s advice.  My sister was asleep not too far away.  Slowly, I began to cry.  I didn’t take my chance, and I was paying the full price for my decisions.  It was then my Dad came into the room and knelt next to me.  “Son, do you see what procrastination has done?” I nodded, and he helped me up.  “Do you really want to try now?” He finished.  At last, I caved in, and replied.  “Yes.  I promise!” and with that, we began to work.  He helped me fix the crooked pictures, pasted to the board.  While he was at that, Mom came and told me she cared.  "Now, let's take a look at the document" she soothed.  I followed Mom to the computer, and with renewed vigor, I revamped my summary with her help in only half an hour.  Time seemed to transition from fast to slow as the progress moved along, and the pieces of my poster board began to assemble.  This was the most serious I was than at any of my school life.  I understood, and I was ready to make the transition.
          I finally finished the project.  The poster was a bit rushed, so I received a "Meets" or 'B' on my poster. This was my wake up call.  It was time to upgrade - I wasn't a kid anymore.  I had to be ready for the real world.  A little while after that day, I changed Behaviorally, and Psychologically.  I listened to my parents more, I stopped throwing fits, yelling, and causing trouble.  I began to get serious, dedicating more time to studying, reading, and being active to acquire a better lifestyle and status.  My grades rose, reaching A's and B's, a giant leap from the 'C' student that I had always seen myself to be.  The main problem was that I didn't want to change - but from that day, I decided to mature, and act more like my age, to be a teenager and take responsibility of my life.  Then, I found I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, which was why I was socially unkempt, and used 'big phrases'.  It was something I had to overcome, so with my changing from child to teen, I worked on being more social, seeking help with my subjects, and caring more than ever now that I was concerned about my future, and how I had changed over the four years in personality socially, and physically.
  
         

Writing position statement essay

     In my opinion, I believe that the government is in the fault of not warning tourists that there are dangers and discrepancies on the trail or excursion.  Although, both sides are at fault for not complying with the rules and warnings, or putting warnings and advisories to prevent such disasters.

     The people, tourists, are at fault for not using common sense, among many of the deceased are people who fail to notice the signs for the danger possible.  They have taken risks by avoiding the signs and walking directly or close to the area of warning.  Most of these faults are accidents, but the fatalities are caused by clumsiness of people, and their neglectfulness of the terrain.  

     The Governing system, is to blame as well.  They are able to place signs, boards, and signals to indicate a potential threat to the visitors.  For some, there is warning, but it fails to warn about a second threat or danger, as it only focuses on one, and can be fixed.  The system has also spent money trying to highlight and bring the natural disturbances to light, and have succeeded in informing many about it.  Some, though, take that risk in crossing the line or performing unlawful and deadly stunts.

     Out of all the reasons, there are many leading to the people for being naive about their surroundings.  First, with proper knowledge, they are able to prevent loss of life and financial problems, given the ruling power and system educates about the path or landscape, and the fact that most of them are curious or pay no attention to the area ahead of them.  The government of Hawaii Gives fair warning, but should be able to update the warning boards or to acknowledge any new threats through any park supervisors, as in the case of the loss of two Californians, who were actually encouraged to pass though a loose section of a trail after noticing the sign telling them to avoid the other path due to loose landscape.

     In conclusion, it is actually the governing force's fault for most deaths and lawsuits coming from families of victims.  More so, that they can assign extra security to a position to deal with marauders and fools.  Another way is to routinely suspect and check surrounding ground for any natural protrusions or variables able to cause harm to an unsuspecting man or woman.  They have control of what can inform people, and can improve upon it, while the tourists are simply acting upon the government's lack of numerous and large warnings, or no security guards.