Sentence Fluency

Sentence Fluency - The Sentences vary in length - short, simple, long, complex, parallel, and their composition and length enhance my words.

August 3, 2011.

Introductory Letter - Year 2.

"Hi Mrs. Sueoka,

Over the school year, I have definitely matured and become better at managing my time - also, ever since last year, I have begun to grow more social, as opposed to being shy and somewhat silent during the Freshman year.  As time passed, I learned to be able to take matters into my own hands, as I used to let others do their own part of the project, I try to help and make "backup parts" now, an example being the ECybermission project, where I could have helped one of my teammates for a better and more successful project instead of an unfinished one.  I also began to explore the internet more, because in Middle School, I never used Email to communicate, but now I even use it to talk to others and send documents online.  During the summer, I became more mature, to being serious, and determined to get the task at hand done.  Overall, I have psychologically changed considerably, but I am still in the process of learning and changing.

Zach" 

In the Introductory letter, I tried using different types of sentences, like long and complex sentences such as "As time passed, I learned to be able to take matters into my own hands, as I used to let others do their own part of the project, I try to help and make "backup parts" now, an example being the ECybermission project, where I could have helped one of my teammates for a better and more successful project instead of an unfinished one.", in contrast to my shorter sentences, for example, "Overall, I have psychologically changed considerably, but I am still in the process of learning and changing", which is shorter and is a parallel sentence, making the letter more interesting and easier to read, also allowing for the paragraph to flow nicely.

 Risky Business essay (final)

Risky Business Essay -

Bullying:

Should the Government create courses for it?

Zachary Chock

Period 2

11/7/11

The government should create classes and sessions to counsel and help stop bullying.  With people being plagued by the individuals known as “bullies” everyday, people urge the governing system to do something about the issue, as not much is being done to fully address the issue.  However, there are people who claim that the government has already done enough to resolve and help the issue.  I am on the Pro side, arguing we can do more to fund and produce "Bully awareness" classes.

The first argument complains that our government is not doing enough to address and combat the issue about bullying.  There are many programs the government has made to combat bullies, but so far, there are very little to no school courses, classes, or sessions held in education departments, to talk about the dangers of bullying.  In one case on October 17 2009, a teenager, Tyler Long, was bullied until he was sent over the edge, and hung himself.  There was no law or bill for education of these school bullies being passed around, so no one was able to Strangely, the school officials failed to recognize or acknowledge any form of the bullying in process, and disturbingly, his suicide was mocked and openly made fun of in classrooms, without any action being taken to stop mockery and disrespect.  

The bullies who pushed Tyler over the edge as well as those who mocked him were not pulled over or consoled, educated, or taught to stop the bullying, and neither did the government or school step in on any of the action.  Now, when caught, the tormentor can be subjected to detention to learn and put an end to their bad behavior.  Since then, School officials now talk with bullies to find out motives and reasons the individual has for their actions, and how they can repent on it.

On the other side, there are the people who counteract with the idea that everything in our power has already been done to help the efforts of the anti-bullying activities.  The government has started enacting warnings for schools to detain and help console, or have therapy with bullies, to combat the issue and rehabilitate the bully to stop their course of action.  Government statistics reveal that one of three students are bullied in Middle and High schools now, affecting overall mental health, success in school, and being able to be around others with trust.

 The action is hoping that by installing courses and classes to educate about bullying and putting a stop to it, to bullies, will alter the bullies' motives and hopefully end their idea to pick on smaller targets and end their bully spree.  People say that the government does not need to create classes, but the PSA’s and court rulings are enough to dissuade others to not join bullies.  Without Classes, Society would possibly have a rise in the amount of bullies and school issues involving harassment.

In conclusion, The Government should be holding classes and mandatory lectures to encourage the stop of bullying.  The programs and laws are active, but starting where the problem begins, in the schools, is where classes and courses should be held to combat and educate early on in children's lives, so they will not be encouraged to enact bullying.  With Media and various other commercials appearing to encourage Human rights, we should be promoting in - school education for Bullying as well.

Bibliography

• http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm200607/cmselect/cmeduski/600/600.pdf, Date accessed, 11/8/11, PDF FILE, House of Commons Education and Skills Committee.
• "What Is Bullying? | StopBullying.gov." Home | StopBullying.gov. U.S Government. Web. 09 Nov. 2011. <http://www.stopbullying.gov/topics/what_is_bullying/index.html>.
• Warr, Suzanne. "How Kidscape Courses Help Children Beat the Bullies | Society | Guardian.co.uk." Latest News, Sport and Comment from the Guardian | The Guardian. Guardian, 23 Sept. 2011. Web. 09 Nov. 2011. <http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/sep/23/bullying-children-kidscape-courses>.

 I used sentence fluency throughout the body of the essay, using short, medium, and complex long sentences with composition to keep my reader going, such as in the second paragraph, I used (highlighted) medium and long varied sentences with parallel structure to make my passage interesting, and enhance my words.