Final Allusion Poster+Reflection

Overall, I honestly had an easier time with this one than of my other poem projects from earlier.  The Allusion was difficult to put into my own words though, as I had a little trouble picking a character that best suited me, and also alluded to myself.  Thinking of a picture to create was easier than making the video in freshman year, as I was only required to put the poem into picture format.  Overall, I would say that this project was a little mind challenging, and tugged at our practice and skill of relating allusions.

3/4 - SA

Poem Draft #1

Tortoise

I am slow,
steady,
and wise.
I try to make the best decision,
Take my time in choosing options,
And will not rush in a situation.

I try my best,
I keep on going, keeping my eyes open for the road ahead,
and go at a modest pace to check my progress.
I am not always too fast to make a decision,
seeing the different paths that will take me to the finish line quickly and surely.

I am a tortoise,
Making my way to the finish line,
Taking no breaks, and watching my time.
If I rush, I will take the wrong path and end up careless.
Slow and steady,
Wins the race.

(The Tortoise and the Hare)

Parent Confrence

Questions for parents:

1.                  What piece of writing did you like best in my portfolio and why?
     I loved the Final College Essay.  I found the writing to be very organized and interesting, pushing me to keep reading as I became very intrigued and piqued my interest - was this my Son?  I have never seen him write like this.  I learned a lot about my son by reading this essay.  I even stopped to ask him at several points of the essay on whether he wrote the essay by himself, or whether he had some help, and he responded that he wrote it himself.

2.                  What did you like about my portfolio and sharing and what would you like to see me improve on?
     This is really the first time that I have looked through Zach's portfolio.  I am seeing him develop his written skills, communicating his emotions and thoughts as he is going through his high school years and teen years.  I would like him to learn how to organize his thoughts a little more - sometimes it appears that he is writing as though he is talking.  I would like him to organize his thoughts and then write instead of writing and then trying to organize his writing.

3.                  Which of the writing traits (ideas, organization, voice, word choice, sentence fluency) do you feel was most successful for me? 
     Ideas, voice, word choice and sentence fluency.  I think he needs some help in trying to organize his thoughts and then translating that into his writing. 

4.                  Which of the traits of writing would you like me to improve on in the coming semester?
     Organization of his thoughts and then supporting his thoughts as much as possible. 

What I learned from this Quarter...

Overall, at the end of this quarter, I feel better about my understanding of the use of the Six traits in my writing.  Before, I lacked some knowledge in knowing a skill, like sentence fluency, or organization.  I have finally achieved a better and more knowledgeable understanding of these traits, and it was only through bad grades and homework that I was able to understand and finally overcome my obstacles.  As I look back, the main obstacles were the projects at the end of the quarter, that our group was working hard on.  To finally get over them, we worked long and hard, and made sure to check with each other for progress every so often.  For next quarter, I am hoping to shape myself into a better learner, to ask questions when I am stuck, to take more notes to fully understand the topic and section, and make more time to proofread and overlook my final product to prepare it for submission.
- Z

Sentence Fluency

Sentence Fluency - The Sentences vary in length - short, simple, long, complex, parallel, and their composition and length enhance my words.

August 3, 2011.

Introductory Letter - Year 2.

"Hi Mrs. Sueoka,

Over the school year, I have definitely matured and become better at managing my time - also, ever since last year, I have begun to grow more social, as opposed to being shy and somewhat silent during the Freshman year.  As time passed, I learned to be able to take matters into my own hands, as I used to let others do their own part of the project, I try to help and make "backup parts" now, an example being the ECybermission project, where I could have helped one of my teammates for a better and more successful project instead of an unfinished one.  I also began to explore the internet more, because in Middle School, I never used Email to communicate, but now I even use it to talk to others and send documents online.  During the summer, I became more mature, to being serious, and determined to get the task at hand done.  Overall, I have psychologically changed considerably, but I am still in the process of learning and changing.

Zach" 

In the Introductory letter, I tried using different types of sentences, like long and complex sentences such as "As time passed, I learned to be able to take matters into my own hands, as I used to let others do their own part of the project, I try to help and make "backup parts" now, an example being the ECybermission project, where I could have helped one of my teammates for a better and more successful project instead of an unfinished one.", in contrast to my shorter sentences, for example, "Overall, I have psychologically changed considerably, but I am still in the process of learning and changing", which is shorter and is a parallel sentence, making the letter more interesting and easier to read, also allowing for the paragraph to flow nicely.

 Risky Business essay (final)

Risky Business Essay -

Bullying:

Should the Government create courses for it?

Zachary Chock

Period 2

11/7/11

The government should create classes and sessions to counsel and help stop bullying.  With people being plagued by the individuals known as “bullies” everyday, people urge the governing system to do something about the issue, as not much is being done to fully address the issue.  However, there are people who claim that the government has already done enough to resolve and help the issue.  I am on the Pro side, arguing we can do more to fund and produce "Bully awareness" classes.

The first argument complains that our government is not doing enough to address and combat the issue about bullying.  There are many programs the government has made to combat bullies, but so far, there are very little to no school courses, classes, or sessions held in education departments, to talk about the dangers of bullying.  In one case on October 17 2009, a teenager, Tyler Long, was bullied until he was sent over the edge, and hung himself.  There was no law or bill for education of these school bullies being passed around, so no one was able to Strangely, the school officials failed to recognize or acknowledge any form of the bullying in process, and disturbingly, his suicide was mocked and openly made fun of in classrooms, without any action being taken to stop mockery and disrespect.  

The bullies who pushed Tyler over the edge as well as those who mocked him were not pulled over or consoled, educated, or taught to stop the bullying, and neither did the government or school step in on any of the action.  Now, when caught, the tormentor can be subjected to detention to learn and put an end to their bad behavior.  Since then, School officials now talk with bullies to find out motives and reasons the individual has for their actions, and how they can repent on it.

On the other side, there are the people who counteract with the idea that everything in our power has already been done to help the efforts of the anti-bullying activities.  The government has started enacting warnings for schools to detain and help console, or have therapy with bullies, to combat the issue and rehabilitate the bully to stop their course of action.  Government statistics reveal that one of three students are bullied in Middle and High schools now, affecting overall mental health, success in school, and being able to be around others with trust.

 The action is hoping that by installing courses and classes to educate about bullying and putting a stop to it, to bullies, will alter the bullies' motives and hopefully end their idea to pick on smaller targets and end their bully spree.  People say that the government does not need to create classes, but the PSA’s and court rulings are enough to dissuade others to not join bullies.  Without Classes, Society would possibly have a rise in the amount of bullies and school issues involving harassment.

In conclusion, The Government should be holding classes and mandatory lectures to encourage the stop of bullying.  The programs and laws are active, but starting where the problem begins, in the schools, is where classes and courses should be held to combat and educate early on in children's lives, so they will not be encouraged to enact bullying.  With Media and various other commercials appearing to encourage Human rights, we should be promoting in - school education for Bullying as well.

Bibliography

• http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm200607/cmselect/cmeduski/600/600.pdf, Date accessed, 11/8/11, PDF FILE, House of Commons Education and Skills Committee.
• "What Is Bullying? | StopBullying.gov." Home | StopBullying.gov. U.S Government. Web. 09 Nov. 2011. <http://www.stopbullying.gov/topics/what_is_bullying/index.html>.
• Warr, Suzanne. "How Kidscape Courses Help Children Beat the Bullies | Society | Guardian.co.uk." Latest News, Sport and Comment from the Guardian | The Guardian. Guardian, 23 Sept. 2011. Web. 09 Nov. 2011. <http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/sep/23/bullying-children-kidscape-courses>.

 I used sentence fluency throughout the body of the essay, using short, medium, and complex long sentences with composition to keep my reader going, such as in the second paragraph, I used (highlighted) medium and long varied sentences with parallel structure to make my passage interesting, and enhance my words.

Word Choice

Word Choice: 

In your writing, use words that differentiate from "bland" words, use wording that stands out, and makes it descriptive and readable.

Powerplus:

Powerplus: In this exercise, I was required to choose words that would make the sentences flow better, such as question #1, (Michael tends to remove cliche from romance movies to show his charm in front of women), where I needed to choose a suitable word that would fit my sentence and allow it to read and move soundly, and in the Short Answer section, # 3, I had to apply the word Rancor in a sentence, so that I proved I knew the word, and how to use it uniquely in a paragraph  

Coming of Age ( Revised )

     Coming of Age

     Zachary Chock

    Period 2

 


            It was Seven AM. in the morning, and I was just watching YouTube on the computer.  It was a three-day weekend, so I could care less than nothing about the final project due around the corner on Tuesday.  Being only 10 at the time, I was not mature yet, and was still carefree and reckless.  I did not care or even think about my time being used on playing games, or watching television, when I could be studying, or working hard to accomplish major grades and achievements.  At school, I was lonely, and kept to myself.  I was only interested in space, and I isolated myself from friends, teachers, and used speech and words that were high for my understanding.  Others tried to help me as I kept getting horrible grades, and I also got very angry at my parents, even though I followed all of their advice to not make bad decisions such as giving into violence, drinking or trying any drug.  My parents were kind, loving, and cared greatly about me, skipping some events, or doing things to spend time with me.  My Dad was strong, had a silent personality, and taught me how to stand up to others and be tough, but he never got angry at us, unless it was from grades.  However, Mom was different, never mad, always kind, taught us in the ways of God, which was probably why she was so docile.  In any case, even as kind as they were to me, I turned down all of their attempts to get me an after - school program or a Tutorial supervisor that would study with me and teach me in the subjects that I was dropping in.  I never did any of that or wanted to, but when it came to school and discipline, I was a problem child.  I still got angry, acted out against them, and caused a lot of anger among my superiors.
            There was a project due, and I was simply searching for funny internet videos and information to read.  My parents woke, however, when I played an Alternative Rock song too loud on the speakers.  My Father came into my room, tired and sleepy with rings under his eyes, and he looked annoyed.  “Son, what are you doing?  Don’t you have a project due this weekend?”  I just looked at the computer screen, having switched to a video of someone playing Halo 3.  “HEY!” Dad really was trying to get my attention.  “Do you want to rush again, getting C’s and ‘Meet’ grades?  Your Mom and I are trying to help you!” he stated.  I finally paid attention and spoke to my father.  “Yeah, I care.  But I have all of the time since the weekend is three days, so I can do it on Monday” I stared blankly after I said that.  He scoffed, and my Mother came in, woken from the rock music..  “Hi Mom” I said, sounding more as if I was just repeating it like it was routine.  “Zach” She replied slowly.  “You know we care about you and are trying to help you as much as we can, so please, can you just listen to us?  We’re trying to help you get A’s – aren’t you sacred about your grade?  It’s on the borderline of a D and C.”  Eventually, I looked at both of them, and I stood, just staring at them.  “Fine.  Whatever”  I didn’t care.  I just wanted to have fun.  I wasted time purposely just messing with the materials needed to build the project, since I didn't want to do it anyway.  They left me, trusting that I would complete my mission.  However, during the three hours I spent unfocused, I was constantly reminded that Monday was speeding towards me, and very fast.
            I got to ‘work’, trying to do the first part of my poster board, to type up the summary on what had happened to the Hawaiian Monarchy.  It had been assigned by the teacher a while ago, and I had gotten but nowhere.  The Keyboard made clacks and clicked, each key springing back as I typed with anger.  I didn’t feel like spending precious time doing something I was required, but to do something that made me happy and careless, like spending countless hours video-gaming, or to vegetate on the couch, watching a funny cartoon until I had fallen asleep by the next morning.  There seemed to be so much to do, it looked overwhelming and seemed to grow when I looked back at the criteria, and appeared that it would take up to Tuesday to complete, but I didn’t want to even try.  Since my parents were gone, I opened up the web browser, and I searched a video related to Halo.  As I watched the video play on the screen, I forgot about the homework and the time wasted away by not working on the project.  The shadows of the trees and the computer arched as eight hours passed me by, leaving me forever.  Those were eight hours I could have finished my project in, but I didn't care anymore.  I never kept track of time, and because of all the gunshot noises made by the game, I was too consumed to notice that my parents’ work had ended, and they had come home and were already inside the house.  My Mom had been standing behind me for a few moments.  She tapped my shoulder, and I turned.  I felt frozen, the cold chill of my blood causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand erect.  “Hi mom” my voice whittled to a whisper.  She didn’t say anything, but kept a tired, cold expression as she opened my word document to see my project progress.  “Son, you didn’t even make it past the second paragraph” she said.  I could feel the disappointment in her whisper of a voice.  “Do you still care?” she turned to look at me.  I felt her brown eyes stabbing into my heart like daggers, the dark hole in her eyes were empty, and I saw the sadness and irritation pooling in her emotionless eyes.  I felt scared, so I could only nod.  She began to leave, and finally turned as she left me to drown in my guilt.  “If you don’t care, that’s fine – Your father and I try to help you so much, and you turn it down with no effort” she looked sad.  I actually felt guilty and cared then, out of all the times that I spent deflecting their glares and anger.  “You can fail if you want to do so” Her upbeat happy personality replaced by an sad, empty shell of what she always was.  She left me alone with the video continuing to play.  I didn’t even notice it was on – I had been to focused by what my Mom had said, that I had begun to change.
            Eventually, the final day came, and even after my confrontation with Mom in the bedroom about my progress, I had acted like I cared, and when my Dad asked of the same, I could only feel the guilt and shame wrenching my insides.  The noise the clock made was threatening.

Tick…

Tick…

Tick…

Time seemed to pass by more than twice as fast – I glared at the clock with swollen, red eyes.

It read 9:00 PM.

I realized that only three hours remained until the dreadful day of reckoning had consumed me and my project.  I began a frantic haste, rushing and making mistakes, spilling glue as I frantically tried to paste the images onto the board.  I hadn’t even gotten halfway to the finishing touch and now it was too late as the clock struck 10:00. PM.  I was tired, and I was now up to my neck in regret of not heeding my parent’s advice.  My sister was asleep not too far away.  Slowly, I began to cry.  I didn’t take my chance, and I was paying the full price for my decisions.  It was then my Dad came into the room and knelt next to me.  “Son, do you see what procrastination has done?” I nodded, and he helped me up.  “Do you really want to try now?” He finished.  At last, I caved in, and replied.  “Yes.  I promise!” and with that, we began to work.  He helped me fix the crooked pictures, pasted to the board.  While he was at that, Mom came and told me she cared.  "Now, let's take a look at the document" she soothed.  I followed Mom to the computer, and with renewed vigor, I revamped my summary with her help in only half an hour.  Time seemed to transition from fast to slow as the progress moved along, and the pieces of my poster board began to assemble.  This was the most serious I was than at any of my school life.  I understood, and I was ready to make the transition.
          I finally finished the project.  The poster was a bit rushed, so I received a "Meets" or 'B' on my poster. This was my wake up call.  It was time to upgrade - I wasn't a kid anymore.  I had to be ready for the real world.  A little while after that day, I changed Behaviorally, and Psychologically.  I listened to my parents more, I stopped throwing fits, yelling, and causing trouble.  I began to get serious, dedicating more time to studying, reading, and being active to acquire a better lifestyle and status.  My grades rose, reaching A's and B's, a giant leap from the 'C' student that I had always seen myself to be.  The main problem was that I didn't want to change - but from that day, I decided to mature, and act more like my age, to be a teenager and take responsibility of my life.  Then, I found I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, which was why I was socially unkempt, and used 'big phrases'.  It was something I had to overcome, so with my changing from child to teen, I worked on being more social, seeking help with my subjects, and caring more than ever now that I was concerned about my future, and how I had changed over the four years in personality socially, and physically.

In my "Coming of Age" essay, I tried using complex and different words, like "criteria", and words and phrases in the body paragraph such as "frozen, the cold chill of my blood causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand erect" to describe how I felt, and make the reader imagine what I felt at that time, as well as throughout the paragraphs, where I used big words, like "renewed vigor" instead of "with energy", as it would be bland and boring.

Voice

Voice:  My writing conveys and reveals my personality, and shows I am writing to the viewer and not using filler.

     Coming of Age

     Zachary Chock

    Period 2

 


            It was Seven AM. in the morning, and I was just watching YouTube on the computer.  It was a three-day weekend, so I could care less than nothing about the final project due around the corner on Tuesday.  Being only 10 at the time, I was not mature yet, and was still carefree and reckless.  I did not care or even think about my time being used on playing games, or watching television, when I could be studying, or working hard to accomplish major grades and achievements.  At school, I was lonely, and kept to myself.  I was only interested in space, and I isolated myself from friends, teachers, and used speech and words that were high for my understanding.  Others tried to help me as I kept getting horrible grades, and I also got very angry at my parents, even though I followed all of their advice to not make bad decisions such as giving into violence, drinking or trying any drug.  My parents were kind, loving, and cared greatly about me, skipping some events, or doing things to spend time with me.  My Dad was strong, had a silent personality, and taught me how to stand up to others and be tough, but he never got angry at us, unless it was from grades.  However, Mom was different, never mad, always kind, taught us in the ways of God, which was probably why she was so docile.  In any case, even as kind as they were to me, I turned down all of their attempts to get me an after - school program or a Tutorial supervisor that would study with me and teach me in the subjects that I was dropping in.  I never did any of that or wanted to, but when it came to school and discipline, I was a problem child.  I still got angry, acted out against them, and caused a lot of anger among my superiors.
            There was a project due, and I was simply searching for funny internet videos and information to read.  My parents woke, however, when I played an Alternative Rock song too loud on the speakers.  My Father came into my room, tired and sleepy with rings under his eyes, and he looked annoyed.  “Son, what are you doing?  Don’t you have a project due this weekend?”  I just looked at the computer screen, having switched to a video of someone playing Halo 3.  “HEY!” Dad really was trying to get my attention.  “Do you want to rush again, getting C’s and ‘Meet’ grades?  Your Mom and I are trying to help you!” he stated.  I finally paid attention and spoke to my father.  “Yeah, I care.  But I have all of the time since the weekend is three days, so I can do it on Monday” I stared blankly after I said that.  He scoffed, and my Mother came in, woken from the rock music..  “Hi Mom” I said, sounding more as if I was just repeating it like it was routine.  “Zach” She replied slowly.  “You know we care about you and are trying to help you as much as we can, so please, can you just listen to us?  We’re trying to help you get A’s – aren’t you sacred about your grade?  It’s on the borderline of a D and C.”  Eventually, I looked at both of them, and I stood, just staring at them.  “Fine.  Whatever”  I didn’t care.  I just wanted to have fun.  I wasted time purposely just messing with the materials needed to build the project, since I didn't want to do it anyway.  They left me, trusting that I would complete my mission.  However, during the three hours I spent unfocused, I was constantly reminded that Monday was speeding towards me, and very fast.
            I got to ‘work’, trying to do the first part of my poster board, to type up the summary on what had happened to the Hawaiian Monarchy.  It had been assigned by the teacher a while ago, and I had gotten but nowhere.  The Keyboard made clacks and clicked, each key springing back as I typed with anger.  I didn’t feel like spending precious time doing something I was required, but to do something that made me happy and careless, like spending countless hours video-gaming, or to vegetate on the couch, watching a funny cartoon until I had fallen asleep by the next morning.  There seemed to be so much to do, it looked overwhelming and seemed to grow when I looked back at the criteria, and appeared that it would take up to Tuesday to complete, but I didn’t want to even try.  Since my parents were gone, I opened up the web browser, and I searched a video related to Halo.  As I watched the video play on the screen, I forgot about the homework and the time wasted away by not working on the project.  The shadows of the trees and the computer arched as eight hours passed me by, leaving me forever.  Those were eight hours I could have finished my project in, but I didn't care anymore.  I never kept track of time, and because of all the gunshot noises made by the game, I was too consumed to notice that my parents’ work had ended, and they had come home and were already inside the house.  My Mom had been standing behind me for a few moments.  She tapped my shoulder, and I turned.  I felt frozen, the cold chill of my blood causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand erect.  “Hi mom” my voice whittled to a whisper.  She didn’t say anything, but kept a tired, cold expression as she opened my word document to see my project progress.  “Son, you didn’t even make it past the second paragraph” she said.  I could feel the disappointment in her whisper of a voice.  “Do you still care?” she turned to look at me.  I felt her brown eyes stabbing into my heart like daggers, the dark hole in her eyes were empty, and I saw the sadness and irritation pooling in her emotionless eyes.  I felt scared, so I could only nod.  She began to leave, and finally turned as she left me to drown in my guilt.  “If you don’t care, that’s fine – Your father and I try to help you so much, and you turn it down with no effort” she looked sad.  I actually felt guilty and cared then, out of all the times that I spent deflecting their glares and anger.  “You can fail if you want to do so” Her upbeat happy personality replaced by an sad, empty shell of what she always was.  She left me alone with the video continuing to play.  I didn’t even notice it was on – I had been to focused by what my Mom had said, that I had begun to change.
            Eventually, the final day came, and even after my confrontation with Mom in the bedroom about my progress, I had acted like I cared, and when my Dad asked of the same, I could only feel the guilt and shame wrenching my insides.  The noise the clock made was threatening.

Tick…

Tick…

Tick…

Time seemed to pass by more than twice as fast – I glared at the clock with swollen, red eyes.

It read 9:00 PM.

I realized that only three hours remained until the dreadful day of reckoning had consumed me and my project.  I began a frantic haste, rushing and making mistakes, spilling glue as I frantically tried to paste the images onto the board.  I hadn’t even gotten halfway to the finishing touch and now it was too late as the clock struck 10:00. PM.  I was tired, and I was now up to my neck in regret of not heeding my parent’s advice.  My sister was asleep not too far away.  Slowly, I began to cry.  I didn’t take my chance, and I was paying the full price for my decisions.  It was then my Dad came into the room and knelt next to me.  “Son, do you see what procrastination has done?” I nodded, and he helped me up.  “Do you really want to try now?” He finished.  At last, I caved in, and replied.  “Yes.  I promise!” and with that, we began to work.  He helped me fix the crooked pictures, pasted to the board.  While he was at that, Mom came and told me she cared.  "Now, let's take a look at the document" she soothed.  I followed Mom to the computer, and with renewed vigor, I revamped my summary with her help in only half an hour.  Time seemed to transition from fast to slow as the progress moved along, and the pieces of my poster board began to assemble.  This was the most serious I was than at any of my school life.  I understood, and I was ready to make the transition.
          I finally finished the project.  The poster was a bit rushed, so I received a "Meets" or 'B' on my poster. This was my wake up call.  It was time to upgrade - I wasn't a kid anymore.  I had to be ready for the real world.  A little while after that day, I changed Behaviorally, and Psychologically.  I listened to my parents more, I stopped throwing fits, yelling, and causing trouble.  I began to get serious, dedicating more time to studying, reading, and being active to acquire a better lifestyle and status.  My grades rose, reaching A's and B's, a giant leap from the 'C' student that I had always seen myself to be.  The main problem was that I didn't want to change - but from that day, I decided to mature, and act more like my age, to be a teenager and take responsibility of my life.  Then, I found I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, which was why I was socially unkempt, and used 'big phrases'.  It was something I had to overcome, so with my changing from child to teen, I worked on being more social, seeking help with my subjects, and caring more than ever now that I was concerned about my future, and how I had changed over the four years in personality socially, and physically.

In my coming of age essay, I was able to show my personality and how it had developed over time, and I truly put into my writing humanity, such as in the first paragraph where I talk about how I feel about myself, and how I feel about school and my decisions that I make, and then I increased the amount of focus on how I really felt in my second paragraph, as being disgusted with work and my rebellion against their advice, so that the reader could see what I felt and went through, and how the person I am writing about is Me, and that they can feel my emotions.  In the end, I write how I am able to finally overcome my rebellion, and focus on what mattered to me at the moment.

 

Writing position statement essay

     In my opinion, I believe that the government is in the fault of not warning tourists that there are dangers and discrepancies on the trail or excursion.  Although, both sides are at fault for not complying with the rules and warnings, or putting warnings and advisories to prevent such disasters.

     The people, tourists, are at fault for not using common sense, among many of the deceased are people who fail to notice the signs for the danger possible.  They have taken risks by avoiding the signs and walking directly or close to the area of warning.  Most of these faults are accidents, but the fatalities are caused by clumsiness of people, and their neglectfulness of the terrain.  

     The Governing system, is to blame as well.  They are able to place signs, boards, and signals to indicate a potential threat to the visitors.  For some, there is warning, but it fails to warn about a second threat or danger, as it only focuses on one, and can be fixed.  The system has also spent money trying to highlight and bring the natural disturbances to light, and have succeeded in informing many about it.  Some, though, take that risk in crossing the line or performing unlawful and deadly stunts.

     Out of all the reasons, there are many leading to the people for being naive about their surroundings.  First, with proper knowledge, they are able to prevent loss of life and financial problems, given the ruling power and system educates about the path or landscape, and the fact that most of them are curious or pay no attention to the area ahead of them.  The government of Hawaii Gives fair warning, but should be able to update the warning boards or to acknowledge any new threats through any park supervisors, as in the case of the loss of two Californians, who were actually encouraged to pass though a loose section of a trail after noticing the sign telling them to avoid the other path due to loose landscape.

     In conclusion, it is actually the governing force's fault for most deaths and lawsuits coming from families of victims.  More so, that they can assign extra security to a position to deal with marauders and fools.  Another way is to routinely suspect and check surrounding ground for any natural protrusions or variables able to cause harm to an unsuspecting man or woman.  They have control of what can inform people, and can improve upon it, while the tourists are simply acting upon the government's lack of numerous and large warnings, or no security guards.

In the Writing Position statement essay, I used voice throughout the essay such as in my first paragraph, where I voiced my opinion on the fault of the government of the casualties caused when they have failed to warn the public about the dangers of the roads and nature side.  Throughout the essay, such as in my second paragraph, I contrast the other reason with my opinion on how our government is working hard to protect the people and place signs up, and this statement contrasts the first argument in the first paragraph, yet voices my feelings for the other side, and ends with what I really feel about the final conclusion and my stance.